


Where The Dead Girls Go

by Pavlovs_Birdcage



Category: Supernatural, Wayward Sisters (TV)
Genre: Case Fic, Family, Family Feels, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Wayward Daughters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 22:45:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16796164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pavlovs_Birdcage/pseuds/Pavlovs_Birdcage
Summary: The wayward sisters continue their journey through family drama and monster hunting. Unfortunately, not everyone thrives in chaos the way Claire does, and Alex is having a hard time holding what feels like the world on her shoulders, and she begins to crack under the weight.Her family of wayward sisters and brothers begin to lend a hand in their own ways.





	Where The Dead Girls Go

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings!  
> I wanted to make a fic that was Alex Centric, about her challenges in fitting into this world and doing what is expected of her, as she seeks out what she expects of herself. 
> 
> Please note, Claire is a bit of a jerk in the beginning but she gets better. She and Alex have an interesting relationship before becoming good siblings.

* * *

“Where did you learn to fix radiators?” Jody asked, more than a hint of skepticism in her tone. She stood over her adopted daughter, Alex, who lay on the floor, hands shoved into the wall behind the metal appliance. 

“Youtube.” Alex answered with a shrug, burrowing one hand deeper into the hole in the wall. After a bit more fiddling, she pulled away, resetting a few of the metal parts and nodded to Jody. “Try turning the heat on.”

With an eyebrow raised, Jody stepped out of the room, as asked. Alex waited a moment, propped on her elbows. She knew exactly what kind of look Jody would have on her face, as soon as the heat kicked on. It brought a bit of a smile to her face just anticipating it. 

The hundred and first time the old radiator sputtered as part if its normal fight for life, Alex decided it would be useful for at least one person in the house to actually know how to fix the decrepit thing, before they all froze to death. After a few free sessions at the local hardware store and with a lot of help from the Internet, she had pretty much learned the basic triage techniques in preparation. Thankfully, it came in handy on this cold November night.

The floorboards under her suddenly shuttered, and the metal coils beside her began to hiss. The heat turned on. A loud “woop” from within the house sounded as Jody came jogging back into the room.

Mission accomplished.

“Nice work, kiddo!”

Alex smiled, and dragged herself to her feet, wiping dirty hands down her jeans.

“Maybe this is a sign we should actually start looking into updating the heating system.” Jody joked, wrapping an arm around Alex’s shoulder and walking her through the kitchen.

“Maybe its time to look into a new house, Jody. I just finished fixing the water pressure too.”

“Yeah, but then how bored would we be with everything working the way it should.”

They shared a smile before sitting at the dinner table, a spread of lasagna and green beans in the center. Alex began to drop some of the food on her plate, just as the door blew open.

Claire stepped into the house, dropping her duffle off her shoulder, and trudging into the dining room to sit down in front of the empty plate waiting for her.

“Perfect timing.” Jody commented when they were all seated. “Where were you, what were you doing, and do I need to call a lawyer?” She asked with the casual stress of being the adoptive mother of two difficult adult children, spooning lasagna onto her plate.

“State park. Killing a ghost that’s been haunting people in the woods. Not arrested.” _This time._

Claire looked up for a moment, her fork raised over the casserole dish. “Why is it so cold in here?”

Alex snorted a laugh. “Heat wasn’t working for a few hours. It should be heating up soon.”

Claire nodded and went back to the food.

Jody spared a glance at the two girls. They’d been like this for weeks, barely speaking unless was to snipe an insult at one another. The tension, as uncomfortable as it seemed, was better than the moments when they were actually screaming at each other. Hell, even a few fists and headlocks were involved in a few instances.

“By the way,” She began, watching them closely. “The Winchesters will be stopping by on Saturday. That got their attention. The two of them shared a half second glance before returning their gazes to Jody.

“Are they coming for a hunt?” Claire asked, leaning forward.

“Actually no. They are in the area for a hunt they already finished and I figured a good meal and some sleep would do them good.”

Alex considered the news, and went back to moving green beans around her plate. She loved the Winchester brothers as if they were her own family, feeling them slot easily into the holes left over from her vampire kin. Even if everything she thought she had with the nest was a clever manipulation, the feeling of family was real. It was nice to have that again with the two older men.

However, now, even more than past years, her time with them was always cut short or not as fulfilling as she wanted. When the two of them blew into town like the lost boys in Peter Pan, they relished their meals and warm beds, which always brought a smile to her face. However, as soon as they started talking about hunting, planning hunts, and yes, scouting out Claire’s suspicions of certain people and places, she faded to the background. Claire of course, loved it. She was able to slide easily into the conversation and piece herself into their lives the way Alex couldn’t. Sam was usually very cordial to her, and it was so formal it actually hurt. She could feel the struggle he would have trying to connect with her- only engaging in small talk. Dean gave only polite head nods and smiles.

It was selfish of her to think like that. She knew should couldn’t force anyone to like her, nor should she be angry that Claire fit in better. It still hurt, though.

“Did they say if Cas was with them?” Claire asked.

Jody shrugged. “They didn’t mention it. But if so, I’ll have to get some more food.” Jody looked over at Alex, knowing exactly why the kid looked so put out.

She remembered the last few instances that the boys had visited. One stuck out the most to her. On one morning, Alex had taken off work to make sure she was home when Dean, Sam and Castiel were all in town. She was at the table with a cup of coffee and one of the anatomy books for her class open when Castiel stopped by. He stepped into the kitchen and politely asked if he could take a seat beside her. Alex of course, obliged and motioned to the chair. After polite greetings, Alex brought up that she was temporarily tending to a neighbor’s apiary for the week. Castiel lit up at this and they shared discussion on their excitement of bees, before Alex asked if he wanted to go with her to that morning’s check-in. She was ecstatic to have someone other than Jody and Donna to chat with, and to actually share a bond. Castiel was delighted, and just as they stood to begin their walk down the street to the bee boxes, Claire walked into the room. The moment was shattered, and Claire and Castiel had their normal staring contest before he followed her like a puppy outside, roped into whatever hunt she had planned, after her offered a polite apology to Alex.

Jody had walked in at that moment. She had witnessed the tail end where Alex and Castiel connected on a level other than sharing good-old Sioux Falls oxygen, only to be separated immediately. She hadn’t heard the two of them talk much since, as it seemed they were never in a room alone long enough to do so.

On one hand, Jody was thrilled for Claire. Finding people who shared an interest in saving people and hunting things was a rarity. Finding people who saved people, hunted things, and passed Jody’s standards was even more rare. Claire needed to connect with Castiel, the angel holding her late father’s vessel, and she needed to connect with people who thought she was normal, when so many others did not. Jody encouraged this. Unfortunately, her heart broke for Alex, who seemed to be unable to connect with anyone.

It was moments like this that made her glad she did not have to raise two babies simultaneously; Although, it may have better prepared her for moments like this.

“Going to actually come on a hunt with us,” Claire turned her attention to Alex. “Or are you going to stay here and be a basic plebe?” She goaded, smirking around a mouthful of pasta and cheese.

Alex just glared at her from under a curtain of black hair, apathetic to her comment.

Claire looked at her suspiciously before turning back to her food, not feeling nearly as victorious as she thought she would be after that jab, and much more curious.

* * *

_6 days before the Winchester’s arrive._

Alex spent the day with the usual: 5:00 AM Self-defense class before work; her station at the hospital front desk for eight grueling hours; a stop to the rifle range for some practice; an hour at the local community college for a computer programming class; and finally a trip back into bed for a quick nap before Jody called for dinner. She was fried, her brain unable to soak in anything else. Unfortunately, there was still one more thing on her list before she can enjoy a night of popcorn and television.

Dragging the unlined notepad close to her face, putting barely any energy into trying to sit up, and instead settling her wonky view of the clean piece of paper in front of her, she picked up a pencil and began to scratch it against the pad. 

It was homework from her therapist. Doctor Rainier coaxed her into trying art as a type of expressing herself and coping with what she was feeling instead of lashing out.

She didn’t feel like she was a good artist, but at least the little scribbles passed the time and got her mind off worse things. Sometimes the drawings were whatever she saw at that moment: the little lamp on her bedside table; birdhouse outside. Other times it was something completely fantastical. This one was more of the second.

* * *

_5 days before the Winchester’s arrive._

“Can you tell me what you drew this week?” Doctor Rainier asked, holding the notepad on her lap and studying the image.

Alex shrugged. “It was just something I read recently.”

“You’ve been reading? That must be nice. Last time we talked you were filling a lot of your time with other activities.”

“It was just a book in the community college library where I take programming class.”

“And how are you doing with your balance of all these activities?” She asked, digging further.

“Fine. It was never really a problem.”

“I remember you stated that all of these things you did because you felt like you had to do them. Like they weren’t being done because you wanted them to, but because you felt a duty to do so.” She stated, cocking her head to the side.

Alex shrugged and almost regretted saying those things, seeing as how she couldn’t exactly explain why she had to do them to the doctor. How do you tell someone that she was learning to defend herself because she always felt like a target of any remaining vampires that had once been friends with her nest? How could she tell the woman that she went to the rifle range so she can shoot just as good as her sister or the Winchesters? How could she tell her she needed to learn computer programs so she can hack into information that may crack a case, or learn to fix a radiator, the plumbing, or even invent fake crime scenes when Claire’s head chopping goes to far? It was stressful yes, but that wasn’t what was causing her pain, right?

“Alex. How have you been feeling recently? Has the medication helped?”

Alex looked up from fiddling with some of the items on the coffee table in front of her. She remembered they were called fidget toys. Little wooden blocks held to together with ribbon, a slinky, and toys that spun.

“I’m still feeling pretty much the same. I don’t feel that…” she sought out the correct word, twirling one of her hands to reflect the spinning gears in her head. “Ache… Its more of an empty feeling now.”

“Empty how?”

“Like…hollow.” Her voice had dropped down to a whisper, looking inside herself and seeking out the void. The absence of feeling.

Ironically, the absence of feeling used to actually ache. It was a weird sensation in her torso that could only be described as a painful hollowness. Now, the ache only returned when she felt the familiar bubble of hatred and self-loathing. Thankfully, she hadn’t felt that in a while. More recently, she felt nothing. Numb.

The doctor nodded. “It takes a few weeks to kick in to do exactly what it’s supposed to do, but you may start seeing side-effects. Notify me of any of those negative effects we talked about, okay?”

Alex nodded.

“As we talked about last session, the medication should help you feel a bit better. It will also make some of the other things we discussed, easier. Until then, lets work on some coping mechanisms.” She moved to place the notepad on the coffee table between them as she began to discuss techniques.

From the page, heavy black pencil figures looked up at them, their faces covered in black gas masks, and the edges of their bodies blurred into the background. On the top of the page, in Alex’s messy handwriting read the words, “The Hollow Men.”

* * *

Returning home late that night, as therapy had cut into her lunch hour, causing her to shift her entire schedule back further, she stepped into the house, hanging up her coat on the rack before moving into the empty hallway.

“Jody?” she called, not hearing anyone in the house, but the two cars in the driveway, one being the Sheriff’s truck, confirmed otherwise.

She counted to five before calling again. When she didn’t hear anything, she went for the kitchen, grabbing a knife off the block immediately before doing a scan of the house. On her way upstairs, she heard a rustle coming from her bedroom.

Within seconds, she was through the door and ready to stab the intruder.

“Yikes, Buffy! Put the knife down!” Claire shouted from where she was seated on the bed. She didn’t even have time to be pissed at the fact that the blonde’s boots were dangerously close to her duvet. 

“What- What the hell are you doing in my room?” Alex shouted, tossing the knife onto her desk with a clatter.

“Alex.” Jody cut her off, stepping out of the en-suite bathroom, just as she was about to rave at her adoptive sister’s lack of respect for personal space. The look on Jody’s face was so grave; it was enough to freeze her blood. She didn’t say anything else, only raising a hand that was wrapped around a plastic orange bottle, its label ripped off, and filled with small pills.

Alex froze. She struggled for words. At this point she had not told Jody about seeing doctor Rainier. She hadn’t even hinted at doing anything other than work and going to the gym during the day, choosing to keep all her other activities to herself. What was more frustrating was that fact that she had buried those pills deep in her bathroom drawer under tampons and little hotel bottles of shampoo, ripping off the label- stupidly she thought now- to keep it with her so she would know what symptoms to look out for. She knew how deep the sheriff had to dig to find that bottle.

“Why are _you_ digging through _my_ things?!” Crap. That was the wrong thing to say. She knew she sounded defensive even as the words came out of her mouth and she could already see where this conversation was going.

“Are you afraid I would find these?” Jody snapped back, shaking the bottle and making all the little pills inside dance and rattle.

“They’re prescription!”

“For what?” Claire asked, smirking.

“Shut up Claire!” Both women barked at the blonde, before turning back to their argument.

“I have the prescription in my purse, do you want to see it, _officer_?” Alex snarled. “You could have just asked, but instead you went through my things on some kind of raid? What were you looking for?!”

“This is my house, and I have the right to look through whatever I want. What the hell are they prescribed for?”

“Depression.” Alex bit out through a clenched jaw. With that she saw Jody’s face fall, and the arm holding up the pills fall with it. Alex felt like shit. Normally, she felt this way anyway, and most of her negative feelings were directed at herself, but this time they were directed externally. These two women, one of whom she saw as a mother, and the other a frustrating sibling had ambushed her in some kind of intervention. The feeling of betrayal whipped through her like a storm, causing her hands to shake from the stress.

“Wh…When did you see a doctor? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jody stuttered. 

“Oh, my God!” Alex exclaimed at the absurdity of the question. “What did you think they were? Is that why you are in my room, looking for drugs? You think I am on drugs?”

“Chill out, Alex.” Claire crossed her arms from her spot on the bed. “You were acting weird and we wanted to know why. Stop freaking out over nothing.”

“Get out of my room!”

“Alex!-” Jody jumped in, only to be cut off as Alex spun in her direction.

“No! She’s enjoying this!” She pointed a finger towards the blonde. “Was this your plan?” She felt the world around her unravel as that hollow pit in her stomach began to flare and the pain returned to her chest. She could barely breathe as the tears flowed down her cheeks and her mascara stung when it ran into her eyes. She saw no solution, she saw no logical things should say at that moment, nor would she even be able to get the words out as she practically doubled over. She saw in her blurry periphery, Claire get up and walk towards her a hand reaching out to her in her hysterical state. But like a wild animal she snapped at her, shoving her away and stepping out of the open and into a corner. Her breathing was still uneven and she felt as if she was back with her nest, forced constantly into a corner and chased down to be a human feedbag to her family. Always prey.

“Get. Out.” She breathed out in a harsh whisper. Claire waited for the nod from Jody before stepping out of the room. As soon as Alex felt her adoptive mother get closer, she stood up, her eyes red and black rimmed with makeup and tears. She knew how awful she looked and the scene she was making, but it did not seem to matter to her in that moment.

With cruelness she used once before, years ago in Jody’s cabin while looking down at a photo of her late husband and child, she growled out a “Leave”, topped with a look that could curdle milk. It seemed to work.

As soon as she was alone in her room, she reached behind her and slammed the door shut. Like a machine, she went to work, regardless of the pain and fatigue in her body, the hitch in her breath, and the mess on her face. Not thirty minutes later she was packed with all necessities to last her months. Two of the clothes-filled bags were already dropped out the window to land beside the driveway. Two less things to carry down the stairs.

On her way down, she saw both women waiting in the dining room for her. She spared them a glance before continuing her walk outside. Picking her coat off its hook as she went.

“Alex, where are you going?” Jody practically shouted as she strode after her.

“I have a place ready. I’m not staying here.” She answered, turning slightly in Jody’s direction and she headed to her car, stopping to pick up the duffle bags she’d thrown out from the window.

She saw the pain in Jody’s face, and the lines and wrinkles, of which she knew at least half she herself had caused. Despite the words they had shared earlier, she thought of what she could say that would make the situation less dire, and end with less finality.

At the car door she paused, and she felt the anger, betrayal, and hurt temporarily cease, and the hollowness return. She dug into her medical training, and dammed back the flow of emotions to think and speak logically to the other. That’s all this was: A triage, as she had practiced so many times before during class and training.

“I will text you when I get there. I’ll be home for dinner on Saturday…If you’re open to that.” She spoke slowly and as sincerely as possible, knowing that Jody could just as well throw it in her face and tell her to not bother coming home.

Jody seemed to process her words, swallowing around the lump in her throat, and she blinked around the tears threatening to fall.

“Yes. Your always welcome here, Alex, its your home.”

With that, Alex nodded, forced a smile they both know was a lie, and got into her car.

For both women, whether it was the car ride or the walk back up the driveway and into the house, the few minutes after their last words were the longest they had ever wanted to feel. 

It felt like something broke, and there was no way to fix it.

* * *

_Day of arrival._

“Hey Jody!” Sam and Dean practically raced to give the woman a hug from her doorstep. Of the few things the men had in their lives that made them feel happy, and made them feel like home, they could always count on the two sheriffs, Jody and Donna, and Jody’s house, filled with her wayward daughters.

They hugged tight before moving into the house, setting their sights straight on the couch. Within a few moments, Donna joined them, four beers in hands for the group.

“Hiya, boys!” She got in her hugs, and passed around drinks, settling down on one of the arm chairs.

“How have you two been?” Jody asked, feeling her heart swell at the love filling her home. It felt good to have her boys safe and back with her, if only for a few days.

Sam nodded, lips wrapped around the rim of the glass bottle, while Dean answered. “It’s been busy. Good busy…Normal busy.” He moved his hand in a straight path to gesture the easier time they had been having recently.

“Well that’s good news, yeah?” Donna commented. “No end of the world drama today?” And just like that, they got lost in conversation. They shared a few laughs of some of the weird characters the had run into in the last few days, before Claire came home and the hugs started once again.

“Hey Jody-o”. Donna asked in the privacy of the kitchen where she was helping the other sheriff with dinner. “Do you know what time Alex is going to show?”

Jody gave a withering sigh and pulled out her phone. “I haven’t received a text saying that she was even going to show, so…” She trailed.

“Yeah, but that means you haven’t received a text saying she wasn’t showing, am I right?”

Jody smiled at her friend’s ability to find the positive even in the bleakest of times. The last week was incredibly stressful on her, made even more painful by the fact that she had found the label for Alex’s prescription for an SSRI in her jeans pocket while doing laundry. Now, she was doing all she could to not rush into the hospital and corner her, just to apologize. She was so hard not to make the situation worse.

“Hey.” Donna started, leaning in and putting a hand on the other’s shoulder. “She’ll come around.”

Jody gave a nod and sighed. Moving her attention back on the food, she tried not to think too much about whether or not she should set up an extra plate in anticipation of her daughter’s return.

At the table, Donna watched in shock as the two men stuffed their faces with whatever food was put in front of them. Their second serving practically disappeared before she was even able to finish her first.

“First time watching them eat, huh?” Claire whispered to her, a huge grin on her face. Donna only smiled in return, her eyebrows raised as Dean let out a happy moan around his fork.

As Sam was about to reach for another helping of mashed potatoes, there was a light knock at the front door. None of the women missed the way that both brothers’ hands went to their belts, ready to pull out whatever was needed to fight. Another second later, the door opened and a familiar head of dark hair appeared in the doorway.

“Hey! Your just in time to fight Sam for the rest of the potatoes.” Dean joked, pulling the chair next to him out so Alex could sit.

Claire and Jody’s eyes met before they turned towards Alex. Jody gave her greeting, trying not to show her surprise, and neither of them realized that Sam had witnessed the exchange between the three women at the table.

Alex, gave a small smile, and after hanging up her bag and coat, made her way to the dining room and took her seat at the table. By the time she sat down, her plate was already filled, and placed in front of her. It was thoughtful gesture, and it made her feel incredibly welcome. However, as welcoming as the Winchesters were being, she didn’t miss the tension coming from the parties on the other side of the table.

Claire’s lips were pursed as she raked the items on her plate with a lazy fork. Jody compensated by asking the table if the wanted any more of the food, and Donna drank her beer and was the only one acting remotely normal.

“So, kiddo,” Donna addressed Alex. “How’s work at the hospital. Word on the street is you are practically running the place.”

All eyes turned to Alex, who blushed and tucked her chin to her chest. “It’s going well. Hasn’t been to crazy lately…Thank you.”

“You know, we should have had a hunter in the hospitals, it would have made casework so much easier. You have a sheriff, a hunter in the field,” Dean gestured at Claire. “And someone at the local hospital. It’s like you have your own syndicate.”

The women around the table all gave forced smiles.

Dean and Sam looked around at each of the women avoiding their eyes, before taking another swig of beer.

“Alright, what’s going on?” Dean practically commanded of the group, looking around at the family, his eyes half hooded, and the wrinkle in his forehead showing his annoyance. “You’ve all been acting squirrely all night.”

There were a few beats of silence as the glances shifted around the table.

This was supposed to be a relaxing stay with people they considered family, but it seems like the Winchesters walked into a pack full of drama instead.

“Maybe you should ask Alex.” Claire answered, glaring across the table.

During the seconds that passed, Alex considered when her relationship with Claire had deteriorated to such a level that it led them to this moment. They never really saw eye to eye, both of them being strong willed and minded in their beliefs, albeit on different paths. She knew Claire’s pain and frustration at the lack of support she received for her hunting career motivated her to lash out at everyone around her. She also knew her own defensiveness and self-loathing lead her to see every movement and action of another person as a threat. Claire’s feigned indifference to the world round her were seen as petty to Alex, and yet, her own attempts to fix everything in Jody’s life were seen by Claire as her kissing ass.

Naturally the two were a toxic combination.

It wasn’t always like that though. There were years where she remembered being able to count on Claire to be there for her. She remembers sharing clothes, and sneaking out, the way good sisters do. But at some point, it all stopped.

Which lead her to how she was going to answer Dean’s question. How can she make this seem like it wasn’t a big deal, without peaking too much curiosity? Pushing back that emotional response, as she was an expert at doing by now, she turned her head to both men and began to speak.

“They’re just worried about me.” She said with a half smile. “I’ve been going to a therapist recently, and they were upset that I haven’t told them. But, we’re over it now.” She made eye contact with each of the women on the other side of the table. “Right, guys?”

Despite her surprise, Jody managed to nod and agree. “Yes, we had a misunderstanding the other day, and we are all sorry.” She looked back at Alex, making sure to look her adopted daughter in the eyes. Donna, beside her, kept her smile, completely nonplussed despite the amount of lying through teeth around her.

With that, the Winchester’s seemed content. Sam, trying to break the awkwardness looked towards Alex and said, “I’m glad your okay. Therapy is actually a really great decision.”

Situation diffused.

Alex took the moment as a win, and tried not to think about how weird it was that her apology from Jody came from across a casserole dish in a moment of panic, but it was an apology nonetheless. It saved the moment and awkwardness of explaining that night to the Winchesters, but it definitely didn’t fix anything. After dinner, dessert, and whatever was planned for the rest of the night, she would go back to her new living arrangement outside of Jody’s home, as if nothing had happened.

Claire, on the other hand, still looked steamed, but Alex convinced herself that it just may have been her resting face.

“So, have either of you heard about the accidents in the Bell mansion in Idaho?” Claire asked Sam and Dean, both of them still inhaling their food, with inhuman speed.

Sam immediately looked up, fork still raised. “Yeah, actually. Dean and I were looking into it for a bit before we found that ghoul in Montana.”

“What did you find?” Dean jutted his chin towards Claire, motioning for her to explain further.

“Oh no. Not another hunt.” Jody interrupted. “You boys just came back from one and this was supposed to be a chance for you to get some food and shut eye. Plus, wouldn’t it be nice to just take a break for a while?”

Donna nodded and raised her beer. “Amen to that.”

“It’s fine. I mean, we have nowhere else to be, and if you’d be okay with it, we’d have no problem staying a couple extra days.” Sam explained.

“Yeah,” Dean cut in. “Bag a monster, and then get to some R&R.”

Claire gave her first toothy smile of the night. Before long she was explaining the details of the recent “accidents” over the past few years at the Bell mansion. She believes the place to be haunted, and was practically vibrating with the anticipation to go explore it.

Donna, ever aware, watched as Alex paid close attention to her food, as if studying the little pepper flakes buried in each bite. She’d already been brought into the loop on Alex’s tendency to isolate herself even more when the topic of hunting comes up.

“Well shoot, if you and the girls head over to Idaho, Jody and I can finally hit that day spa a few towns over. I’ve been overdue for a massage- don’t worry, no monsters this time.” Donna commented helpfully. While her suggestion went over well with the Winchesters, who both nodded and gave their approval, both Claire and Alex looked across at each other like the last thing they wanted to do was be forced on a hunt together.

Claire quickly tried to save her unraveling plans. “Actually, Alex doesn’t hunt. Isn’t that right?”

Alex, however refused to take the out. Although she would have stayed behind anyway, now that her adopted sister threw down the gauntlet, she felt the need to counter. She thought of how the other option would be to spend the weekend alone while Jody and Donna enjoyed their relaxing spa day, and Claire got to spend time with the Winchesters. She thought of the hollow ache in her chest that would come from sitting in darkness scribbling away in her cheap sketchpad. This was how she foresaw every weekend of her life moving forward. But not this weekend, dammit!

“Actually, I’d love to come on a hunt.” She sassed, turning her attention to Dean and Sam. “I’m in.”

* * *

When dinner ended, Jody dragged Donna away by the arm, ready to ask her what the hell she was thinking, throwing both her daughters into a dangerous hunt, made even more dangerous by the fact that the two girls would probably leave the each other for dead out of spite.

In the living room, Dean and Claire had taken a seat on the couch, and after cleaning the table with Sam’s help, Alex made her way out the door and out of the house. She had to make a stop at her temporary living quarters to get some more clothes and necessities. She was not expecting to stay the night at Jody’s house, which used to be her home, she reminded herself, but she could not trust Claire to text her when they were ready to head out tomorrow morning. She would have to stay the night, as unpleasant as it sounded.

Even more unpleasant, was that her temporary living quarters was actually a hotel in town. Grabbing one of her duffels, that was still filled with the clothes she had left with, she began to organize what she would need for the weekend.

A knock at the door of her hotel room startled her. She definitely wasn’t expecting visitors, and she was pretty sure the hotel staff had a tendency to stay out of your business and respect the “privacy” door hanger.

Looking through the peephole, she spied a familiar face on the other side.

“Sam, what are you doing here?” She opened the door and let him in.

“Is this where you are staying?” He asked, looking around at the hotel with a raised brow.

“From what I understand you’ve stayed in worse.” She snarked back, moving back to her duffle and packing another pair of jeans.

“Yeah, but that was because we didn’t have anywhere else to stay. You have a home. Why aren’t you there?” He made his way to the bed to sit on the open space between the layers of folded clothing set out across it.

“It’s not a big deal.” She tried to shrug it off, lifting a flannel from the pile and folding it neatly before placing it in the duffle.

“People don’t usually move out for things that aren’t a big deal.” He watched her closely and reached a hand out to stop her packing. “Alex. Its okay. You can talk to me…. Please.”

That got her to look at him, even if her reluctance was visible on her face. If Sam had come all the way over here, leaving the comfort of the house to sit with her in the fleabag motel, he must care for her, even a little bit. She owed him.

“We did have an argument. But, me going to therapy wasn’t the reason.” She took a seat next to him among the clothes. “I came home to Jody and Claire performing a search and seizure in my room.”

Sam’s eyebrows crinkled, confused.

“They thought they found drugs. Which I am NOT doing, for the record…They found my pills that my therapist prescribed, and confronted me about it. They said I’d been acting weird, and figured that warranted some digging without my permission.” With one hand, she dug into a pocket in the duffle, reaching around before pulling out an orange container of medication.

“What are they for…If you don’t mind my asking.”

Alex sighed. “Depression.” She stated, matter-of-factly. “They were right. I haven’t been myself recently…For while.”

Sam put a hand on her shoulder. “Alex. What you’ve been through…-”

“You’ve all been through worse.” She cut him off. “All of you… I started working at the hospital to help people; to make something useful out of myself. I pick up new classes at least every week so that I can help out Jody. I fix the radiator, the plumbing….hell, I even learned to sort out her finances every month and budget. She’s done so much for me…Then I started the self-defense and the shooting… I figured, I needed to learn to protect them… I couldn’t just be useless all the time.”

“Alex, when do you have time do all of this? You have a full time job, and you help out Jody on hunts when they come up.”

Alex shrugged again before curling towards herself further. “I can’t do what you all do. I ca’nt go looking for evil.” She looked up at him, hunched over with her elbows on her knees. Wide, glassy eyes looked into his, and he saw the pain in them. “But, I can be ready for when it comes for me.”

A shiver slithered down Sam’s spine at that.

“Alex…I know this is a lot…and I know you feel like the world is caving in…But, If you ever want to talk about it, or rant about it, or just, sit in complete silence- if that’s what you prefer- then, I’m here.”

Sam’s haunted eyes met Alex’s, and she knew she could trust him. Maybe it was the medication finally kicking in, but she finally felt like she wasn’t alone.

* * *

Sam and Alex arrived back at the house around midnight. Dean, who was staying on one of the couches looked up from the pillow Jody gave him, taken out of one of the girl’s rooms.

“Dirty stay outs.” He grumbled, causing the two to smile, before they shared a nod and went their separate ways. Sam watched as she strode down the hall towards her room, her duffle bag clutched close to her chest, like a blanket.

Once Sam heard the door click closed at the end of the hall, he whispered to Dean, while seating himself on the unoccupied couch across from him. Dean of course, popped open one eye to show he was listening.

“Dude, I thought Claire was the one we had to worry about. Alex is a wreck.”

“Whaddaya mean?” Dean whispered, voice raspy from sleep. The Winchester brothers rarely got shut eye, but when they did, they slept hard.

“I mean I’m really worried about leaving Alex with sharp objects while on this hunt.”

That caused his brother to sit up. “Wait. Are you saying she needs to be on some kind of suicide watch? Does Jody know?”

“I don’t think so. I think she only knows the bare minimum. Apparently they haven’t actually been speaking since last week.”

“Man…I thought this was some typical young adult angst…” Dean commented, pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “Maybe this hunt is a bad idea. We should call the whole thing off, and we’ll take care of it on the way home after the weekend.”

Dean was always protective of those he considered in his charge. Ever since Jody had begun to collect wayward girls, the brothers made sure that keeping these women safe was a priority. Family was family.

“I don’t know. Maybe this will be a good thing. You talk to Claire- you’re the only one who usually gets through to her. I’ll stay close to Alex. Maybe we can make them work together for once…”

“Or talk civilly to one another?” Dean added. “Fine. But the minute this starts going south, we end it. Clear?”

“I don’t want them to get hurt any more than you do, Dean.” Sam nodded.

As Dean stuffed his face back into the pillow to sleep, Sam began to take the blanket folded on the corner of the couch waiting for him, and stretched it out across his body. Like most, it was a bit too short for his long legs, leaving a good stretch of his chest uncovered. He lay down, and pressed his face into the pillow, thinking about how hunting monsters was going to be ten times easier then stitching the relationship between the two girls back together.

What a mess, he thought with a sigh, breathing in the sweet floral scent that clung to the pillow. It was a scent he was not used to, having lived only with his brother, and occasionally Castiel in the past few years.

It must have been strange for Dean too, because he heard the older man grumble about how everything “smelled like girl” in the house, and to “wait until you see the bathroom….friggin’ tampons everywhere, man.”

* * *

Dean was more perceptive than his brother gave him credit for.

Claire, although she had grown up in a loving, eloquent household, had a sharp downturn in her desire and ability to communicate her feelings to others. She isolated herself, pushed people away with her acid tongue, was obsessed with hunting, and abhorred “chick-flick moments”.

It was her similarity to Dean that was underlying reason Sam had assigned him to have a heart-to-heart with Claire.

Of course, Alex, who wanted nothing more than a normal life and tried so hard to fit in, was also moody and guilt ridden. She was defensive at every comment, and attempt to reach out, based on a poor past experiences. Sam, sharing in the same affinity for introspection and knowing a thing or two about self-flagellation, was the one assigned to speak with Alex.

It was here, as he closed Baby’s trunk after handing out an assemblage of weaponry to his brother and their female side-kicks, Dean considered how exactly he would go about having his mentoring moment with the blonde.

The Bell mansion’s façade looked like those spooky buildings on so many Halloween haunted house posters, although in the daylight, it may have been beautiful and sophisticated. After picking the complicated series of locks put on by the local historical society, the hunters entered as a group, and immediately split into their set pairs.

“Alright,” Dean announced. “Let’s take the tour of this place. If we don’t find anything, and nothing finds us in an hour or so, we go with plan B.”

“Which is?” Alex asked.

“Bait.” Dean provided, with a nod.

“Sounds good to me.” Claire was practically giddy with the chance to hunt. “Alex, is great at being bait.”

The room fell silent, and Alex spun around, walking as quickly- and loudly- in the opposite direction. Sam followed, but not before giving his brother a stern look.

* * *

Alex waved the shotgun, affixed with a flashlight across the black and white tile floor of the hallway. It was heavy in her grip, but Sam, who was behind her and taking more time paying attention to the tiny details of the house, picking up each and every Victorian artifact to inspect, didn’t seem to have issue.

This was always the hardest part of hunting for her: the waiting. Waiting for something to happen. The utter gaps in activity only fostered the harsh judgments of her person, and the thoughts of lifting the heavy gun to point into her own mouth.

It was excruciating.

Just where did Claire get off talking to her like that? The voice in her head was screaming at her the entire time to make her sister eat her own teeth, or worse, to snipe that comment that has been festering in her brain about Claire’s tendency to get the people around her killed, starting with her parents and Kaia. The more she stewed, the more she reminded herself of how she acted when Jody adopted her from the vampire den: Cruel trash.

Sam, watched her from his place, noticing her unease and stuck up conversation. “So, what the hunts you’ve been on with Jody like?”

Alex considered his question, inspecting a picture of the mansion’s grounds. In it, were rolling hills and little white globs of paint representing the sheep that once roamed the area. The area Dean parked Baby was once a cobblestone path, and the meticulously groomed rose garden in the corner by the treeline, had once been a vegitable garden. “Intense…When Jody was on a hunt, it was for a reason. People were dying or disappearing fast. There wasn’t much…” She sought out the right word, moving towards one of the doors in the hall. “…Looking for trouble.”

“You mean like now?” He lifted his eyebrow, reading her not so subtle comment.

She only shrugged. Letting her flashlight lead the way, she walked into what turned out to be the library. The scans of the original map on the historical society’s website had a series of pen scribbles on the section of the library. She figured it was either poor upkeep of historical documents, or the owners making notes on sections in their home. She didn’t think much of it, but figured it would be worth a look.

The books lined the shelves, clean of dust and well taken care of. However, the room still gave her a chill when she walked in. Everything in the dark always seemed scarier. She remembered how when she was younger she would hide from her older “brothers” in dark places. Every sound and creak was a terrifying threat. In the end they would always find her: their vampire senses making the darkness easy to navigate, while she floundered, blind.

She shook off the thought and kept moving into the room, the flashlight trained on the floorboards after doing a quick sweep of the room.

“I couldn’t help but notice,” she heard Sam’s voice echo from just across the hall as he poked around a walk-in closet. “Things seem to be a bit tense at home.”

“I told you. We had a fight. Its over.”

“Yeah, but, is it? You and Claire barely spoke on the car ride here….and it was a long ride.” He pushed.

“Maybe we had nothing to say.” She deflected.

“Alex.” Sam’s said forcefully. He had clearly had enough beating around the bush. He paused, taking a breath and not taking his eyes off her, as he moved into the library to stand at her side. “Talk to me.”

He left the request open, not moving or exploring deeper into the library, but choosing to stand there and wait for her response. She remained passively staring at the catalog of books, not really absorbing any of the titles.

“It just…I… I can’t keep…” She struggled hard for the words, and even if she found them, she’s not sure they would have been the right ones. What was wrong? Everything was wrong! Everything was inside out and upside down. Her world was grey and the people in it were color. The people around her moved with drive and will, and she remained planted and without progress. Static.

Hollow.

Her flashlight reached the bottom of the stacks, falling there as she let her hand relax to her side. As the beam of light hit the wooden floorboards of the room she saw a curved scratch. The same type of scratch she remembers from her bedroom by her door. It was left there when a pebble had somehow ledged its way under the door, and when it swung open, it dug its way into the hardwood, leaving an ugly scar. But, there were no doors in this area, only a shelf of books.

If Sam had responded to her jibbering, she didn’t notice. Instead, she reached out, and took hold of the shelf, giving it a tug. It wobbled. She moved her hand, giving a few more cursory tugs before finding a seam where one shelf met another. This time, she pushed. Hard.

With a click, the shelve unit popped forward an inch. It was just enough for her to swing it open with ease, revealing a secret door in the library.

“Whoa.” Sam whispered, taking a closer look at the newly discovered entrance way. “I bet, we’ll find something down there.”

Alex swallowed, and looked up at him. Although he was clearly interested in the secret passage, the look on his face clearly said “We’re not done talking about this.”

He then turned and led them into the passage, his shotgun raised and ready to fire. “Stay close.” He demanded, and Alex had no problem doing just that.

* * *

Claire was on her game tonight. She was a great hunter, having only just been dragged into the world of the supernatural a few years prior. Dean imagined that if she had the same upbringing as he and Sam had, she would be taking down gods and archangels by now.

“You know, you’re lucky you’ve still got all your teeth.” He commented nonchalantly, picking at dust underneath electric outlets, seeking out ectoplasm.

“What does that mean?” Claire asked, her face twisted.

“It means, if my brother had called me, ‘bait’ after I spent half my life as a vampire’s lure, I would have punched him in the face…repeatedly.”

Claire remained silent, rolling her eyes. Dean saw right through the act, as she pretended it was no big deal.

“You’re her sister, your supposed to love each other, not kick each other when you’re down.” He chided her, his voice low and gravely, his disappointment clear.

She spun around at him, her flashlight waving with the motion. “Well what am I supposed to do?” She ground out. “She’s been moping around for months!”

“Is that what you’re trying to do? Get a rise out of her?”

“Anything is better than this! I just want- I want some kind of reaction! Like this, its like she’s dead inside.” Claire signed, flushed with emotion. “She doesn’t even fight back.”

Dean stopped walking, his head hitting his chest with a sigh of frustration. “Look, I get it alright… Seeing your sibling trudging around like a zombie isn’t easy.”

“Yeah, you know that from experience?” Claire snapped.

“Yes.”

There was a pause between the two as Dean looked her in the eyes, his face conveying righteous authority. When he spoke, his voice was deeper and louder. “You don’t think after everything Sam and I have been through- EVERYTHING we have been though- we haven’t been there? You don’t think I’ve seen the things you’ve seen? Held the people I loved as they died? Messed up so bad that someone else had to pay the price? You don’t think I know what you are going through?”

Claire had the decency to look down, shamefully; her blonde curls hiding her face.

Dean continued. “I don’t know the reason your hurting at this exact moment, but I get it. I also know that beating on your sister is not going to make that pain go away.” He moved closer, daring a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Listen…there were times, between Sam and I that one of us had gone so far off the deep end, where we were sad, or angry, or…I don’t know, just messed up. And I remember that feeling of being completely helpless to do anything.”

“How did you fix it?” Claire looked up, a shine of glassiness in her eyes as she held back tears.

“I was there for him. The same way you need to be there for Alex.”

Claire nodded, message received.

“Now, lets get back to work.”

* * *

In the deepest corner of the house, Sam and Alex found themselves stepping out of the narrow hall full of pipes, spider webs and stairs into a sub-section of the basement.

“Whoa.” Alex’s mouth dropped open as soon as she caught sight of the metal examination table and the various tools surrounding it.

“I’m taking a guess that this wasn’t a legitimate medical wing.” Sam said, passing his flashlight beam over the room, paying attention to the crude and tools. He moved in closer, while Alex took to discovering the other half of the room.

A steel toolbox stood tall in the far corner. The top worktable was bare except for a few pictures, each of them stuck to the steel by a melted tea-candle. Alex fingered one of the pictures. It was a color photo, and depicted a woman who was wearing the type of outfit she had seen in eighties movies- shoulder pads and all. Moving to the others, she saw more of the same theme, but with different women. As she went down the line of candles and photos, the women’s clothing and hairstyles became more current. How old were these photos?

“Sam.” She called. “I think I found something.” Sam walked over from where he was inspecting the medical table and took in the photos.

“That’s kind of odd.”

“Is this some kind of shrine?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe. But why here?” They both looked over to the medical table, and imagined its horrible purpose.

“Sam…What if these women were victims of some kind of sick game of doctor…” Alex theorized. “We didn’t find anything about murders in the history of the house.”

Sam thought about it for a moment. “We wouldn’t be able to read about them if the women’s bodies were never found…Plus, have you noticed the examination table? It doesn’t have any dust… Like its still being used.”

In an instance, the flashlights stopped working.

Before they had a chance to react, they felt a feeling of air rushing out of their lungs before being thrown back towards the entranceway. Alex hit the table, causing it to tip over as she fell with it. Sam, hit pure concrete, and was slumped in the corner. He reached for his gun, only to see it on the floor back where they were standing.

He looked over towards Alex, who groaned and forced herself into a keeling position. Immediately, he regretted bringing the girls on the hunt. He had to keep her safe. Despite the pain in his back and the desire to check on Alex, he scrambled as fast as he could over to his gun, knowing that it was their best chance of getting out of the situation.

Before he could make it, he heard a scream. Fear lanced his heart as he looked over to see Alex who was being held down, her face and belly to the floor, with the apparition of a man on top of her. He had a trim beard and a sick smile as he listened to Alex’s cries as her fingers dug into the concrete, her face twisted in pain.

“Alex!” He made the final rush to the shotgun, snatching it from its place on the floor and spinning it in his hands to point it at the bastard hurting his family. As fast as he was, he didn’t get the chance to pull the trigger, as a shot from elsewhere rang out and blew the phantom away, and missing Alex.

From the entrance Dean stood, shotgun still smoking. Claire rushed out from behind him to Alex, who still hadn’t moved from her place on the floor. Sam blew a sigh of relief, as he stood up and went over the group.

“Hey, you okay?” Dean asked, immediately fretting over him, like a big brother should.

“Yeah, just wish I’d been faster.” He answered honestly. Dean nodded, knowing exactly that feeling.

Claire by this time had Alex propped up against the wall and was checking her for injuries.

“What the hell happened to your gun? Did you forget how to shoot?” She sassed, her tone betraying her fear.

“I lost it when it threw us…” She reached her hand behind her back with a wince. “Why don’t you guys keep these things on a bungee or something?” She asked, and Sam and Dean shared an exasperated look.

Standing up with a bit of effort, she spun around and showed her back to Claire, lifting her flannel shirt up an edge. “I think that thing did something. Can you take a look?”

Claire moved closer and helped her lift her shirt, only to gasp at the sight of a thin but deep surgical slice going down the smooth expanse of skin.

“Jeez.” Claire lifted a hand and pressed it close, but not on, the wound. “I’m going to kill that son of a bitch.” She snarled, dropping Alex’s shirt back to cover her.

Alex winced as she straightened her shirt while Sam told the others about what they found and convinced them that more research was needed. As they walked out of the house, Alex trailed behind, her shotgun in a much firmer death-grip then before, so that she wouldn’t lose it again.

Claire’s protectiveness was brief, but pleasant, and it diluted the ache shed been feeling in her mind and body, if only for a few seconds. Unfortunately, she found herself desiring more of it. A longing growing deep inside her for some kind of familial love or touch ached just as much as the “hollowness”. She longed for Claire’s protectiveness, and Sam’s kind support that she’d received. The scratch, if you could call it that, was a blessing in that it tore her focus away from her own thoughts and towards something more real and solid. This was a real injury, and the pain it caused made sense. It was a nice change of focus.

But, like everything else, it was fleeting. Soon the hollow feeling would be back and once the hunt was over she would go back to her motel to sleep, and start work all over again on Monday.

They found a motel to stay in for the night while they regrouped and researched more on the mansion, this time, looking for missing women in the area. As Sam and Alex tapped away on their laptops, Claire and Dean cleaned their guns and packed new rounds of rock salt. It went on like this for a few hours, picking up leads, discussing options, and going back to research before Sam finally strung it all together in a nice bow.

“One of the owners who had the house from the 20’s to the 40’s was a doctor, and his description, although there are no pictures, matches the guy that attacked Alex and I in the basement. He might be some kind of sick serial killer that likes to practice on women.” Sam explained. “During the twenty years he owned the house, there were hundreds of reports of women that went missing, so we couldn’t pinpoint any specific women to tie to the house.”

“But,” Alex jumped in. “There was a picture of the house’s original grounds hanging in the hallway, and there were a lot of things that were added when he got there…So, instead of researching who went missing, we may be able to find out where they were buried…and, we already know where the doctor was buried.”

“So, we salt and burn him.” Claire finished. Sam and Alex nodded.

They finalized their plan, and set out towards the beds. The brothers hoped that Jody wouldn’t be too angry that the girls were sardined into the same room as them, but the motel was small and out of rooms.

As the girls settled down, sharing the same bed, despite the noticeable miles of space between their bodies, Sam motioned for Dean to follow him outside.

In the parking lot of the motel, breathing in the cool air, Sam leaned against the Impala and waited for Dean to speak first.

“So, how did your chat with Alex go?”

“Not well.” Sam answered. “How did your chat with Claire go?”

“Not awful.” He shrugged. “Claire should lay off the insults for a while, I think.” He dug his hands in his pockets and leaned against the trunk.

“That’s progress…”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking Alex needs more than a hunt and a hug to get through this. That therapist is a good idea…and that maybe you shouldn’t give her a gun to hunt with.” The last remark was made with a raised brow, which Dean chose to ignore.

“And the living in a hotel room alone and hiding away is a good idea, too?”

Sam sighed. “That’s not what I said. I just think that this might be fixed with time and some support from Jody and Claire. But, I will try to talk to her again tomorrow.”

“Good. You’ve got plenty of shovel time to talk about your feelings.” He sassed with a smile.

* * *

She thought of her hotel- the room miles away from the one she was in. She longed for the pin-drop quiet of that room, along with the filthy carpet, dollarstore coffeepot and cracked fiberglass bathtub. The more she thought of that crap hole as her “happy place” the more she associated it with her plans to cuddle up in the warm water of the bathtub and just sleep for eternity. It was strange, but whenever she found herself getting angry or frustrated, whether on this hunt or before the Winchesters rolled into their home the night before, the thought of ceasing to exist gave her comfort. It was as if, no matter how devastating life outside her hotel room became, she always had the option to fade into nothingness.

Imagining the handful of pills in her hands, soon to be swallowed, brought her peace.

Only 5 hours to go before she had to get out of bed.

Claire lay beside her, face in the opposite direction, eyes wide, and her mind raced, juxtaposing Alex’s peace. The hours ticked by too slowly for her, as by the time Sam’s phone alarm went off, she was out of bed like a shot, and stomping towards the bathroom.

Alex pretended not to notice her sister’s mood, because frankly, she didn’t care. Stepping into her jeans, and lacing up her boots, she got herself ready for the day. Dean gave Sam that panicked look that he wore when they were in Gabriel’s NunCracker gameshow. The two women were like pinballs, bouncing off all available surfaces, leaving the gamer to wait for the inevitable crash when they finally collided.

The car ride there consisted of Sam amusing himself with a fidget spinner, while Dean blasted his music in an attempt to drown out the stifling tension emanating from the backseat. Claire and Alex could not have been sitting further apart, choosing instead to be magnetized to the Impala’s doors. Both looked out the window, arms crossed, and mouths twisted into a grimace. They were starting to look a lot more related the more they spent time on the hunt, Dean mused.


End file.
